Sezgin and I have now reached the 28th week in the pregnancy of our first child, at this point we have the surety of knowing that should I go into premature labour tomorrow there is an 85% chance that our child will survive. What we have no certainty about is the gender of the baby,  perhaps I am old fashioned or maybe because I love surprises I decided early on not to find out the sex by ultrasound. Sezgin took more persuading, I think he really wanted to know whether he was going to have a son. At my NHS check up and scan at 20 weeks he asked the ultrasound specialist to tell him and was outraged when they told him that in the UK this knowledge is only disseminated if the mother gives permission. He peered intently at the screen but claims he saw nothing that gave him a clue.

At 26 weeks we had another detailed scan done in Dalaman, Turkey. Our obstetrician doctors ultrasound machine is state of the art and produces 3D sepia pictures of the foetus as well as the grainier black and white X-ray looking scan. As he slides the monitor over your gel lubricated distended stomach you are able to see the same images as he has on his screen on a TV screen suspended over your feet at the end of the diagnosis bed. I was concerned that İ would inadvertently learn boy or girl without wanting too but sometimes luck is on your side and a huge electrical storm caused a power failure and the TV screen part of the machinery wasn’t working. Sezgin and İ had agreed prior to the visit that he could learn the sex as long as he resisted dropping hints to me, pressure from me and the temptation to tell everyone except me. We told the doctor and he and Sezgin looked at his monitor together, at one point he tried to subtley draw Sezgin’s particular attention to something on screen but Sezgin missed the hint. I strongly suspect that the nurse then told Sezgin in the outer office while I was immobilised wiping gel off my belly but he denies this. Whether he knows or not İ don’t know but if he does at least he doesn’t appear to have told anyone else.

Most mothers in Turkey and lots in Cyprus and the UK too who have ultrasound scans learn the sex of the baby in a frenzy of curiosity and then kill the suspense full anticipation that births I remember from my childhood used to hold. When an aunt or cousin had a child the first question used to be ‘what is it?’, recent changes in technology and attitudes mean that the only query left to the spectators is ‘how much did it weigh?’, a much duller and pedestrian question lacking joy and preference. Who cares to hear that a baby weighed 6.6oz as opposed to 7.3oz – but who doesn’t have a frisson of excitement when a child of your preferred sex is delivered. I would like a little girl and decided early on that if I was told that I was expecting a boy that I would have months of pregnant disappointment and that would not make for a healthy pre-natal term. Sezgin claims to have no preference but I think he would like a boy. We are both agreed that I am probably carrying a girl and so are 99% of the people who look at my pregnant shape. Only one woman has said that I am carrying a boy, everybody else, male and female thinks it’s a little woman renting the space inside.

As an inaccurate experiment I decided to try a number of the old fashioned methods for divining sex and to report the results.

Breasts: my left is bigger than the right – this indicates a girl

Pupils: I looked at myself in a mirror for at least a minute and my pupils dilated – boy

Hair: more full bodied and shiny than prior to pregnancy – boy

Hands: when asked to present my hands İ do so palms up – girl

Height of bump: carrying low – girl (although some old wive’s tales contradict this)

Bum: sticking out and well rounded – girl

Lovemaking: I was the more passive partner when the baby was concieved – girl

Morning sickness: I had little to none – boy

Acne: none, my skin is clear and soft – boy

Cravings: sweet = girls, sour = boy – I have had no cravings so far

Pillow: north facing = boy, south facing = girl – it spends more time between my knees than it does at any compass point!

Father’s weight: dad is gaining weight too – boy

Urine: bright yellow = boy, pale yellow = girl – this still seems to depend on how much water I’ve drunk

Nose: if it is spreading = boy – really? If it’s spreading surely that’s more indicative of leprosy?

Wedding ring: we suspended this on thread above my belly, circles mean a boy, pendulum movement means a girl – girl

Headaches: I am having these for the first time ever – boy

Happiness: girls make you crabby but boys make you happy as for 9 months you have a little willy in you – boy

Baby movements: boys kick lower and girls kick in the ribs – boy

As you can see predicting things the old fashioned way really depends on exactly how many of the tests one is prepared to do. The sex of this particular little one will remain a mystery until he or she finally puts in a debut sometime in February and until then everyone including Sezgin and I can just keep guessing and when the birth takes place I will have exciting and unexpected news for all of you too!